Know Your Boundaries: Strategies for Identifying and Articulating Needs
Breaking Free From the Depletion Cycle: A Guide to Rejuvenating Your Energy
Ever felt like you're running on fumes, even after a solid eight hours of sleep? Or maybe you've snapped at a friend for no real reason, then wondered why? Welcome to the not-so-exclusive club of modern burnout, where despite our smart gadgets promising efficiency, we're often left feeling more drained than charged up. It's that sneaky weight of unanswered emails, the endless scroll on social media comparing our behind-the-scenes to everyone else's highlight reel, and the pressure to always be "on." Before you know it, you're three coffees deep, postponing activities you once loved, and greeting Monday mornings with a groan.
It’s a tricky maze. We chase the idea of having it all – the success, the adventures, the picture-perfect moments – but end up feeling like we’re perpetually falling short. These moments aren’t just a bad day; they're the warning lights on our dashboard saying, "Hey! Something's not right here." We often shrug it off, thinking it’s just the price of modern life. But in truth, these are the markers of being trapped in today's energy-zapping cycle.
This is, unfortunately, a modern-day epidemic. But what if there was a way to not just manage, but to create energy in your life?
Understanding the Source of Depletion
We often think of energy in physical terms - sleep, food, exercise. But energy goes beyond the physical. Our emotions, thoughts, and even our spiritual alignment play a crucial role in how "charged" we feel.
Think of it like WiFi signals. You might have full bars, but if you're not connected to the right network (read: our core values), things just won't work efficiently. Ever committed to something that didn’t sit right with you? That draining feeling is more than just tiredness; it's a misalignment between what you're doing and what truly matters to you. When our daily grind is out of sync with our inner compass, it's no wonder we feel like we're constantly running on low. So, the next time you feel that unexplainable slump, it might be worth checking in on more than just your sleep schedule. Your heart and soul might be trying to tell you something.
Quick Exercise to Find Energy Drains + Gains:
- Jot down five tasks you did this week.
- Mark them as draining (⬇) or energizing (⬆).
- Reflect: Do the draining tasks clash with your values?
Example: Let’s say you’ve been taking on extra hours at work. The task is “extra hours,” and you might mark it as draining (⬇). Upon reflection, you realize you value quality time with family, which these hours are robbing you of.
Who We Are Being vs. What We Are Doing
Ever wondered why the same task feels energizing one day and draining another? It’s not just about what we do, but who we are being while doing it.
Real-life Scenario: Emma loves painting. But when she paints for an upcoming exhibition, she feels stressed. Here, Emma's mindset - one of obligation and pressure - detracts from the joy of painting. But if she paints just for herself or out of pure love for art, the energy she feels is different. The task is the same, but who she is being while doing it has changed.
Exercise: Think about a task you did today. Were you doing it out of joy, obligation, fear, or another emotion? How did that emotion impact your energy?
Tapping into Intrinsic Motivation
Tasks done out of intrinsic motivation, that internal desire, are often the ones that energize us the most.
For Instance: Alex has always found reading tedious, viewing it as a chore for personal growth. However, things change when he stumbles upon a mystery novel that piques his curiosity. Now, he's not reading because he "should" (external motivation), but because he's genuinely captivated by the story and wants to unravel the plot twists (intrinsic motivation). Suddenly, those pages don't turn fast enough!
Exercise for Finding Intrinsic Motivation:
1. List and Pick:
- Think of a task you often avoid or resist. Jot it down.
2. Uncover the 'Why':
- Identify the external pressures pushing you toward the task (e.g., expectations, societal norms).
- Now, search for a personal, genuine reason you might want to engage in it. What could be your inner 'why'?
3. Shift and Approach:
- Keep that intrinsic motivation in mind as you approach the task. Notice how this inner 'why' changes your feelings or attitude towards it.
4. Reflect:
- Afterward, ponder on how focusing on your genuine motivation altered your experience. Did it make the task more enjoyable or meaningful?
The Role of Boundaries in Energy Management
Setting clear boundaries isn't about being rigid; it's about protecting your energy.
Imagine: Mike is the go-to guy for everyone at work. While he enjoys helping, the incessant requests drain him. By setting specific times in the day for queries, Mike creates a boundary that conserves his energy.
Exercise: Identify an area in your life where boundaries are blurred. How can you redefine them to protect your energy?
Episode 27
How to Reconnect with Your Purpose
When actions align with our deeper purpose, they become sources of energy, rather than drains. But purpose can be elusive. We need to spend time collecting data and stringing together clues to identify that secret sauce for expressing our gifts in the world.
Exercise: Spend five minutes in quiet reflection. What makes your heart sing? What are the things you’re doing when you really feel like you’re living your purpose? Even a rough idea can be a guide. Now, see how your daily actions align with this purpose. How often are you in alignment versus out of it?
Low-Effort Energy Boosters
- Mindfulness: Take three deep breaths. Focus on the sensation of air entering and leaving.
- Gratitude: Write down three things you're grateful for today.
- Visualization: Close your eyes. Imagine a version of yourself filled with energy and joy. Soak in that feeling.
Managing your energy and preventing burnout
Episode 3When It's Time to Seek Support
Remember, you don't have to walk this path alone. Whether it's friends, family, or professionals like coaches and therapists, having someone to journey with can be a game-changer.
The cycle of exhaustion isn't invincible. With introspection, alignment, and the right strategies, you can shift from depletion to rejuvenation. It's not just about ticking off tasks but aligning them with who you truly are. So, take a deep breath, align with your core, and watch as your world transforms from drained to dynamic.
Work with us 1:1
Individual sessions with either Cynthia or Madeline are a great way to go far, fast.
- Completely tailored to you
- Go at your own pace
- 30-min or 1-hour sessions
- Partner with your best fit
Schedule a free virtual coffee chat with Madeline to discuss what you're looking for and how we can help.
